I love my man to bits.
I am fully aware of all his faults and he mine. The minor niggles we have are far out weighed by the common wants, needs, deep love and achieving our joint goals, dreams and living our life together.
One of favourite banters is about who will die first, not at all morbid, both of us wants to be the one to go first as we both feel life without the other one would be a shell of what we now have. Of course there are my wonderful sons but they have there our filled lives.
So we often have agreed that at the age of 110 or so the best way would be to take a fast car over a cliff, it was originally a motorbike, but we decided we probably won’t be able to get the proverbial leg over at that point.
Of course my wonderful boys may object to us ruining part of the inheretience but some things just have to be.
On Friday an elderly uncle, my grandmothers youngest brother died after an illness. He was in his eighties, and I think most of us saw it as at least his pain had ended as the last couple of weeks he had suffered a lot . He left is wife who he had been courting since he was fourteen, son and grandson. All of whom were devastated. Then in the early hours of Sat morning my aunt died too. They had been together 75 years. She was elderly but not ill. She just couldn’t go on without him. She always appeared the stronger, bossier, more domineering of the two. However once he went, her life drained from her in less than 24 hours. We are all sad, will miss them terribly, especially my Nan. She was one of 13, there are now three left. My uncle who died was her favourite.
The sadness is twinged with a feeling of at least they are together. I (to quote something I read by someone who occasionally appears on here) have no invisible friends. If I am wrong and there is something that comes after this, then I want to do the same, go with my man. Of course I really need another 50 or so years first.
My younger son posted that he wanted people to be waiting for him. It made me cry again, all I could say is if there is something, he will have people waiting. My two grandparents who died before he was even thought of would love both my boys to bits.
It’s sad I also know I have little time left with my remaining grandmother, there are few people not far off 50 who still have grandparents living.
It has also as these things tend to, reminded me I have a wonderful circle of friends and family around me.
Of course it also underlines my last act of disobedience / bratty ness etc will be the fact I will die first, and if there is something next, I can at least, get the groceries in, warm the bed and have a large glass of his favourite malt waiting for him.
Enjoy your life and enjoy each other. And if there is something next lets hope the perverts are well catered for.
Love to all my friends and family who have gone, I really hope I am wrong and we will meet againxxxxx
Crying again xxxxx